Tinfoil Butterfly by Rachel Eve Moulton

Author:Rachel Eve Moulton
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Farrar, Straus and Giroux

TEN

“Emma,” Ray whispers as he plops down at the breakfast table. “Do you ever feel it coming on in your finger bones?”

My face flushes red. Lately it does that a lot. Often around Ray. I can’t tell if he really doesn’t notice or if he’s just pretending not to notice. I’m sixteen going on seventeen—Ray is already eighteen—and it’s silly, but I feel different, like something is actually going to change this year on the arbitrary day of my birth.

He reaches over and pinches me, which only makes me flush a deeper red.

“It feels like something great is about to happen?” He’s got a box of cereal in his hand. It’s the blue box of sugary flakes he hides in his room so Denise doesn’t throw it out. He pulls two bowls from the cupboard, pouring mine first because that’s the kind of guy he is.

“You trying out new meds or something,” I growl.

“That’s not kind,” he says, and I hear that I’ve deflated him. Hit home in the way only I can. I don’t like it when Ray is happy outside of me. It’s like I don’t even know him anymore. He becomes this other thing, separate from my life, and I have the urge to crush this happy new thing called Ray. It’s unkind, I know, but it rises up so strong these days. I’ve almost given up trying to stop it.

“I didn’t get enough sleep and I don’t know what you are talking about.”

“Well, I feel good. You should join me.”

I study his face for his crazy. It’s there. It’s always there, and while it’s true that his triumphant grin looks a bit maniacal, he looks otherwise pure in his happiness. Ready to take on some aspect of the world that I think we should hide from.

“I had this dream last night. Want to hear it? It was a revelation.”

“What is this? Bible school?”

“They call it Sunday school, you heathen, and stop ruining it. Just listen. I dreamed we were standing on the edge of a canyon.”

“That’s it?”

“Yes, it was you and me. The thing was that we were surrounded by red rocks, shifting and moving as if they were the vertebrae of some great big monster. New canyons kept forming all the time. Our toes hanging right over the edge but we weren’t scared. You, you were happy.”

Ray smiles broadly at me and my heart aches. The joy on his face is contagious, but I do my best to fight it off. He’s been lying to me lately, thinking I won’t notice.

“Jesus, Ray. Are you some kind of greeting card now?” I slam my notebook shut. I’ve taken to drawing with black ink. Digging lines into the white paper over and over until they tear through. My mother found it and threatened a therapist.

“Shut up,” Ray says. “I won’t let you ruin this. It was an amazing dream. So, suddenly these green mountains start popping up in the distance or maybe they were always there and a path starts to snake from us into the hills.

Download

Copyright Disclaimer:
This site does not store any files on its server. We only index and link to content provided by other sites. Please contact the content providers to delete copyright contents if any and email us, we'll remove relevant links or contents immediately.